Are your most important relationships as satisfying as you would like?
Many people have this as a priority in their lives but find it elusive. Our usual understanding of relationships is that when you find the right person, then everything will naturally work out ok. When it doesn’t work out that way, then we often believe that one of you must be wrong, or that this must not be the right person. We spend our time blaming and suggesting what the other person could do differently. This is the way it always looks. If they would only do this or not do that, then everything would be alright. When the other person must change before you can get started, then you have delegated all the power someplace else. What if relationships are something that you do, rather than something you can find in the world? You don’t go out looking for a better golf game. You just ask yourself, “How could I do this better to enjoy more fun and satisfaction?” Creating a partnership that feels good is something we can learn to do better and the fact that you have conflict is a natural part of the process.
Personal Views that are Limiting Does the way you view yourself and your circumstances create or limit your possibilities?
We all have preconceptions about ourselves, other people and how to get along in life. These rules seem fixed and certain, like parts of the world, but they are never as subtle as the world they are trying to make sense of. An understanding that served you well in the past will always hold you back if it’s not improved and updated over and over.
Yesterday’s helpful solutions become today’s painful problems unless they’re continually adapted. It’s hard to see our own preconceptions because they don’t look to us like ideas we had, they look like the facts. It’s like there are these rules running our life, and we don’t always know what these rules are. Not everyone lives by the same rules, or beliefs.
Someone Safe to Talk To. Would life seem more manageable if only you had someone safe and private to talk to?
It can be extremely useful to explores what’s going on for you, and to share things that are important to you, with someone who has no agenda but your satisfaction. There are things we never discuss or even look at because there doesn’t seem to be anyplace safe, private and respectful to air them or to work them out. Not being alone with what’s important is a big step toward making life work. Online realtionship counselling can really help you break through and make your partnership as good as it can be.
Change Your Life Would being more free and able with some situation change your life?
Most of us have some area of our lives where we live as we believe we have to, rather than as we would like to. Henry David Thoreau said that, “Most people live lives of quiet desperation.” There are some real concrete obstructions to creating the life we want, and facing up to them is a great start. The trouble is that these inevitable difficulties are wedged in place by so many man-made ones, which masquerade as real concrete obstructions. The way we are doing and viewing our life has more input than we ever imagine.